there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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