She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
