You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
