Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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