she looked like the bat from fern gully.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Randomize
