I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
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