Betty ford says i'm here all night
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize