dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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