Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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