You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
