i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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