This girl is more easily done than said...
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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