I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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