3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
