Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
