Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
