I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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