i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
