I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Randomize
