so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
smell my finger.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
