So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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