So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
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