my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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