If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Help me help you realize you are a moron
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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