I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
