Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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