this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
