He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
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