We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
