There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Randomize
