do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
