I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
this boner is exhausting
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Enjoy the penises
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
