i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
