Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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