he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
