they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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