I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He shit in the fireplace
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
