on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
