I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I want to be your penis for a week.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
