operation have a gay friend backfired
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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