Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Randomize
