Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Randomize