My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
