Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize