I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
