I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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