I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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