It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
