just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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