4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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