There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize