mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
that may or may not have been my penis.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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