my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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