Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize