Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
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