You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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