Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Randomize
