I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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