so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
