But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
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The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
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You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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