I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
