Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
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