if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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